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Post by acrimonious old kit man on Mar 10, 2019 9:19:59 GMT
Butterfield of Dreams Peter Akpan
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Post by Hoochy on Mar 10, 2019 9:34:03 GMT
Sniffcrack Mountain - about an under valued kitman who can identify who was wearing pants by sticking his head in and having a good sniff and a wank.
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Post by Hobhead on Mar 10, 2019 9:42:38 GMT
Sniffcrack Mountain - about an under valued kitman who can identify who was wearing pants by sticking his head in and having a good sniff and a wank. And he can take out five Hell’s Angels with the same roundhouse kick (if they arrange themselves conveniently).
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Post by Attentive Onlooker on Mar 10, 2019 9:44:26 GMT
Gameshow idea.
A washed up kitman with delusions of fighting prowess is plied with 10 cans of Taddys. He then has to wash as many kits as he can in an hour. Bonus points to be awarded for winning fights or posting utter shit on the internet.
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Post by Hobhead on Mar 10, 2019 9:51:59 GMT
Mighty Duckworths: a team of ruddy-faced twats drink ale, get pissed and talk bollocks about how hard they are, how everyone respects them and how they used to have this amazing scam going whereby they’d take their washing in from home to work and save a few pence by doing it on the club’s quid. This goes on interminably while the cinema slowly empties.
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claw
Hot Water Tank Bantam
Posts: 713
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Post by claw on Mar 10, 2019 10:05:51 GMT
Gogglebox with the Duckworths: Pissed up, red faced old blokes discuss whether Rugby Players with funny names should be playing for England.
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Post by Hoochy on Mar 10, 2019 10:07:23 GMT
This went well, Ducky.
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Post by Neshead on Mar 10, 2019 10:30:06 GMT
Gameshow idea. A washed up kitman with delusions of fighting prowess is plied with 10 cans of Taddys. He then has to wash as many kits as he can in an hour. Bonus points to be awarded for winning fights or posting utter shit on the internet. "Give me a second series you shit"
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Post by Hobhead on Mar 10, 2019 10:42:25 GMT
Tad(dy): The Explorer. A lonely, loser of a man hides a wonderful secret. On the corner of his street stands a strange shop selling a magical liquid in containers of varying shapes and sizes and in a variety of fantastical colours. One sip of this special liquid and our unwashed protagonist enters a parallel world of wonder wherein he becomes the world’s greatest bare knuckle fighter, his popularity soars and the people there believe every word he says. Here he’s a winner.
While the scenes in the magical realm will warm the viewer’s heart, the juxtaposition of our anti-hero’s return to the real world as the magical liquid wears off is as tragic as it is pathetic. So engrossing is it that this critic could almost smell the vomit and urine.
A triumph of kitchen sink tragicomedy. Five stars.
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Post by Bacon on Mar 10, 2019 10:42:26 GMT
My Beautiful Laundrette. Minus the gay stuff obviously, although if there has to be then he's giving not receiving.
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Post by Lofty on Mar 10, 2019 10:47:28 GMT
Pointless / The Chase. A washed up old kitman tries to find Josh Wright and Jake Reeves' and then attempt to get their jock straps dirty enough to try and get clean.
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Post by Hobhead on Mar 10, 2019 10:47:40 GMT
My Beautiful Laundrette. Minus the gay stuff obviously, although if there has to be then he's giving not receiving. And if he is receiving he certainly won’t be pushing back.
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Post by Bacon on Mar 10, 2019 10:50:44 GMT
My Beautiful Laundrette. Minus the gay stuff obviously, although if there has to be then he's giving not receiving. And if he is receiving he certainly won’t be pushing back. He'll be clenching to try wrench the offending cock off. It'll be a trick he'll have learnt in the forces, repeatedly.
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Post by Hobhead on Mar 10, 2019 11:00:04 GMT
How(h)ard The Duck(worth). Documentary. Features testimonies from the split personalities of Mr Duckworth himself as he tries to convince the viewers as to his fighting prowess. The testimony given from under the used jockstrap is particularly convincing. Up there with Lennie McLean and Roy Shaw as a brawler and Babs Windsor as a national treasure.
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Post by Neshead on Mar 10, 2019 13:17:50 GMT
Ducky mucky sucky fucky. Duckworth explores the sordid world of the British porno industry and its links with the humble washing machine. Find out the wash cycles celebrities such as Katie Price and Christa Ackroyd use to clean their cum stained undergarments. Watch as we go undercover with our intrepid reporter to show what really goes on behind the scenes in the kit room, including what materials constitute a great wank sock and the current top 10 of rated washing powder.
*Contains scenes of nudity and utter depravity.
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Post by acrimonious old kit man on Mar 10, 2019 13:24:25 GMT
The Life Of O'Brien
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claw
Hot Water Tank Bantam
Posts: 713
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Post by claw on Mar 10, 2019 13:24:41 GMT
Football socks would be terrible for wanking into, too thick.
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Post by Hoochy on Mar 10, 2019 13:25:50 GMT
Football socks would be terrible for wanking into, too thick. Big too. My lickle winkle would get lost in there.
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claw
Hot Water Tank Bantam
Posts: 713
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Post by claw on Mar 10, 2019 13:30:24 GMT
Football socks would be terrible for wanking into, too thick. Big too. My lickle winkle would get lost in there. Ample room in a trainer sock for me.
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Post by Neshead on Mar 10, 2019 13:46:10 GMT
Big too. My lickle winkle would get lost in there. Ample room in a trainer sock for me. Just about right size for me 😐.
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